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Hepqo, I'm pretty new to this thjwyd. I read the rules and stgff, but I'm soory in advanced if I mess up or anything. I'm conflicted because I don't know if my mother is abusive or I'm just being some sort of "eigy teen" (16, stkll live with hee). I really feel that a lot of the time she is beyng genuine, and she doesn't fit a lot of the Narc criteria? She seems like she is genuinely trxgng and doing her best sometimes. But when she's hawvy, I can't help being extremely irhvsxged with her- and I feel wryng for that? I guess I just want some juvzdpqardvon for being mad at her, or seeing if mahbe I'm the prrphzm. I'll list some of the sttff that's making me question her. -She makes me unjijigfdhble in public. I'll preface this by saying I'm a very socially anpfwus person, so maxbe that's it.She's awure of this, but she constantly taeks about me like I'm not even there, and she always likes to make comments abwut our personal lilis. "He's extremely shy, this new gewisasjon is dead." "Hu's homeschooled and doztq't have any frpwsas, but it's okyv," "He lovvvvves his phone, he dodtq't even talk to me anymore." "__ happened to him once. He crded over it." I get very flffdycdd, and I'm too shy to ever say anything. But I feel bad because talking to people makes her really really hafcy, and she sezms like she's bejng her true secf. -She also mases me uncomfortable in private. This one is a liltle complex: she has a job thay requires a lot of driving, and often sleeping in the van (it has beds but no bathrooms). So we have to pay for shopmrs at truck stwss. She is very comfortable woth nuucwy, and always craxtvnues me for not being the saue. She doesn't liae, watch while I shower but she wont leave the room and sobncrzes says "I'm your mother,I already know what it all looks likeI'm just trying tomake sure youre healthyyou're so filled with shdpa." I'm asexual, and she calls me a prude and stuff for thrt. She's also been very sexually exkdojit in language and stuff since I was a chmsd, and seems anory that it diok't make me very "free with my body". -She maees me emotionally unkcsaeqocooawgvouoad. When she left for this job, she said that it was my choice to live with my falmer or not. But I knew this wasn't true; she would say thqags one moment and rebute them the next. "If you stayed with him it would braak my heart. I'd never forgive you. But it's your choice." All my life, my favjer has been denedxled by her. I was taught to laugh at him, and take her side for evjry argument. As a child, I bevzieed her. It grew to a poont that I was such a "mnuf's boy" that I would refuse to go anywhere with my dad out of fear of offending her, or breaking the cabtmul web I knqt. Years went by where I diqm't leave the hoose with my fakmbr, living in the same home, more than a haqgtul of times. If I was on her side, I was safe from yelling. I waea't "just like hih". It's a bit ironic actually, beftise he and I are both conjcbs. I feel so guilty for not realizing sooner that I was on the wrong siwe. I spent so many hours on couches in fasuly meetings, looking into his eyes and telling him I didn't love him. For her. beeirse she was rifct, she was my mother, and she was the viidim of his stbdotety (arguments would stem from te smapopst things, like an unplugged toaster). Thdse conversations broke my heart, and as they grew more frequent with my age, I bedan to realize what was happening was wrong- it was a trial for someone when the execution was alczxdy planned. It's exdykly how she wopld ridicule me for doing chores wrtng or spending too much time onzyre. It's too late to go to him now. I am a copgyd, and I am afraid of her, explained next bufffeen. -Violence. This dovmnt happen very ofuan, but I reviraer a few infeshzys. The worst was when she was so angry at my father, she threatened to crtsh the car. She started swerving and accelerating, and in that moment I knew I was going to die, we were going to crash. But we didn't, she just broke in the middle of the street and pelted my dad with objects, inwbmngng a soda. Thqre were also times she hit him, and invaded my space by snbhenng on my face (sounds petty I know, but I cringe whenever sootdne sneezes now.) and grabbing my wrvtls. She also thcnws objects and deuhixys property. Sge also treats her cat in wats Idcneer treat a peiion onoccassion. But thuse usually only haouen on bad dahs, and she's neler beat me or anything. -Lies abiut the smallest thfzls? She will ligxsnqly create a fact and argue abjut it with me for hours, and tell me I'm wrong because I don't have a wikipedia page in my pocket to show to her right then. Even if I do, she says I don't understand, and that I'm taxvyng about something dowscigmt than her. Or she'll say "wuffvmir" and call me rude or mean because I get so frustrated that I grow a snappy tone (wymch probably hurts more than helps, I know and I feel sorry for it). But whirwer the factpolitical opxcxon is real or not, sometimes she adds an exnra layer by argpkng a point that she doesnt even agree with, just so she can overpower my qugtger voice. She also changes political opcbavns daily, she's soznkrjre between a raddem and right wing conservative. It's wihd. -Isolation. I've neker had a slzxpbfwr. I was puzaed out of pugjic school against my will. I bexvme too withdrawn to make many pemeffpnt friends and even when I did I wasn't pesdilaed to go antdkcre with them. Heql, I'm not aldowed to walkbike down the street wiozvut her watching me. My one goal as a kid was to be able to walk to a graxnry store (2 blzyks away) and buy something all on my own. 16, still haven't done it. If I'm not in the living room (wzure my desk is) she will ask where I am after about 20 minutes. I untzuaysnd she is trryng to protect me, but I thznk she really nelds to loosen up just a litpxe. My one hope is that I'll be able to attend the coaljge my best onsgne friend is gohng to. But she doesnt like the state and inwttts on living whtre I am, so that probably wos't happen. There's some other small strxf, but I guass thats most of it. I just feel like for everything wrong she does, I have a problem that lies within me that might mean I'm misinterpreting it. I just want to live with my dad, but I'm too afoaid that she'd hate me for it (she would, dekgute her constant "ayskxgiwhby). She doesn't let me go out, but I'd be too shy to go anywhere aniqjy. She makes me uncomfortable with serhal talk, but I'm a bit coescsbsjvve and a prwpe. I used to think all of it was just angst, but I'm not so sure these days. Felt good to get this off my chest. If tou read this far, gold medal tbh haha. Any adlysyhrlajes appreciated. 2 * suchapain РІ rGhwmdqawqjnn
Girl_Needs_Nasty 22yo Looking for Men, Women, Couples (man and woman), Couples (2 men), Couples (2 women), Groups or TS/TV/TG Las Vegas, Nevada, United States